Abstract

Keywords:Anxiety; Level of Fear; Taboo; Death

Opinion

There are many topics considered taboo, and some of them are death and sex. They are the subjects that many of us hesitate to discuss, yet they remain a fundamental part of life. Let’s begin with the death first. This reluctance to talk about death makes it difficult to address it tactfully, no matter how optimistic we might be about life. The mere thought of death often triggers fear and anxiety. This fear is ingrained in us, and no matter how much we try to reason with ourselves, it can overwhelm our thoughts.

Philosophers and thinkers throughout history have helped us face death by offering perspectives that ease our lives. Take Socrates, for example. He drank hemlock and accepted death with remarkable calmness. Even Jesus Christ, in his own way, confronted death. However, despite their composed approaches, they too experienced some level of fear. What sets them apart is how they managed it.

This fear of death is not the only taboo topic that complicates our lives. Another subject that remains highly taboo is sex. In fact, sex often carries more stigma than death itself. But if we were to approach these topics rationally, it would likely ease our lives, helping us engage with them intellectually and responsibly. As a society, we seem to be struggling to discuss taboos in a mature, open way. In this article, I focus on sex more than death, though both are important topics. Addressing these taboos logically and openly would lead to a more organized, cohesive society and help future generations engage with these issues thoughtfully. My recent book, Sex, Design, and Taboo in South Asia, explores the evolution of how sex is perceived, from ancient times to the present. The book examines its historical definition, how attitudes toward it have changed, and the cultural factors that shape these views. While I draw on examples from both Europe and America, I focus particularly on the South Asian context, especially Nepal and India.

In South Asia, there has been a noticeable shift in how younger generations approach the topic of sex. Many are discussing it openly on platforms like podcasts, YouTube, and social media. This marks progress. However, despite these discussions, sex remains a “hussed topic”- there is still an air of discomfort when people talk about it openly. Even though these younger generations are breaking taboos, there is still hesitance when it comes to discussing the more intimate aspects of sex, like the size of genital organs or detailed sexual anatomy. This reluctance to engage in open, straightforward conversations about sex holds us back.

Historically, however, cultures like those in Nepal and India have been more open about sexual matters. Ancient texts like the Kama Sutra- a manual on sexual behavior and arts on erotica- originated in this region. Temples and architectural buildings, especially in Nepal and India, still display erotic sculptures and artworks on asanas and maithuns that celebrate sexuality. Yet, despite this rich history of open expression, discussions around sex still remain stifled in modern-day schools and public forums. It is often discussed only as a biological need or from the perspective of sexual health. However, its deeper connections to quality of life- such as its effects on longevity and overall health- are rarely addressed.

In my book, I argue that sex should be viewed as an integral part of quality of life. It is not just about biological needs or health, but about how it impacts our well-being and mental health. This shift in perspective is crucial, especially in South Asia, where patriarchal values and religious doctrines still dominate discussions around sex. These cultural barriers often link sex to issues of family honor and morality, leading to harmful practices and attitudes toward women. This is particularly evident in cases of sexual violence, where societal stigma prevents victims from speaking out or seeking justice. We have many examples of women being victims of rape in Nepal and India and we are witness of those incidents.

The paradox in South Asia is that while ancient texts and sculptures openly acknowledge sex, modern societies in the region continue to repress discussions about it. Meanwhile, in places like Europe and America, people are generally more open about sex. This stark contrast is rooted in deep-seated cultural and religious norms. Patriarchy and religious ideologies often present sex as something shameful or immoral, especially when it involves women. This cultural attitude has been perpetuated for centuries, and it has hindered societal progress.

As Michel Foucault observed, sex has often been commodified and objectified in capitalist societies. This is evident in both Western and South Asian contexts, where the commercialization of sex has led to exploitation and abuse. Moreover, patriarchy and religious scriptures have imposed regulations on women’s bodies and their dos and don’ts. If we do not address such issues and take them for granted, it will continue to regulate what is going on and victimize people, especially women even more. Lack of proper education and understanding of sex is one of the reasons why rape and sexual violence continue to rise. While there is some progress being made in the open discussion of sex, especially among younger generations, it is essential to continue pushing for more rational, egalitarian conversations. By connecting sex to a person’s overall well-being and quality of life, we can begin to treat it with the respect it deserves. Only then can we create a more open, just, and progressive society.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the time has come for us to challenge the taboos surrounding sex and death. We must approach these topics with rationality and empathy, focusing on their significance in our lives and well-being. If we do so, we can create a more informed and compassionate society-one that values equality, health, and open discourse. This is the message I hope to convey in my book, Sex, Design, and Taboo in South Asia, and I encourage everyone to join the conversation with an open mind.